


Where I Belong

by Kylo Hux (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Nightmares, Previous Gun Violence, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6871942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/Kylo%20Hux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here. With Sylva. </p><p>This is it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where I Belong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StrawberryWho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryWho/gifts).



Hux awake with a startled yell, panting in his cold rooms. Sweat beaded on his forehead, slipping down his temples as the memory of the dream faded into his peripheral vision.

His Father's raised arm, the gun shot, his mother's blood.

He sat upright suddenly, pushing the memory away. Swinging his legs to the side, he held his head in his hands, taking deep breaths, trying to calm his pounding heartbeat as it hammered in his ears.

"Eilus? Eil?"

Hux turned his attention to his girlfriend on the bed beside him, blearily blinking up at him with confused eyes. He smiled weakly at her, shifting around to press a gentle kiss to her lips.

"It's nothing, Sylv, it's nothing." He smiled as reassuringly as he could, running his hand through the chestnut hair that escaped the messy bun she slept in. "I'm going for a cigarette, that's all. Go back to sleep. The Supreme Leader sent more work for you. You need your rest."

Sylva made a soft noise, and Hux translated it to a rough 'okay' and he stood, finding a shirt to pull on. He considered putting on some trousers, perhaps even some pajama bottoms, but he shrugged it off. Grabbing his cigarette case from his side, he left his chambers quickly.

His bare feet padded down the cold metal hallway, echoing loudly in the otherwise silence.

There was no one around; everyone else would be asleep.

He should be asleep, and he wanted to be asleep, or at the very least; he wanted to be lying in bed, his arm wrapped around Sylva, their legs tangled up as they giggled sleepily over some ridiculous joke.

Instead, he was suffering, trying to remember to breathe as he pushed the balcony doors open.

The night was cold, crisp, and the air assaulted his lungs as he filled them. The sweat on his forehead cooled almost immediately, making his forehead feel tight. He frowned deeply, taking a moment to look around at the universe surrounding him before he cracked open his cigarette case.

The familiar creak of the hinges soothed his shot nerves, and he carefully plucked a cigarette from the bindings, holding it between his gently pursed lips.

His hands shake as they lift the lighter sparking it; illuminating the darkness surrounding him, Hux's eyes tracked a speck of dust that blew past. He inhaled the first puff of smoke, and immediately felt the calming effects of nicotine coursing through his blood stream. He exhaled and immediately took the next puff, barely giving his lungs a resting period.

Fourteen years.

Fourteen years since the murder of his mother and it still haunted him every time he slept in a sleep less than deep.

The shaking in his body started up at double time, and his breathing became erratic. He struggled to control it, trying to remind himself to inhale for four seconds, to exhale for four.

Suddenly, a familiar feeling wrapped around his shoulders.

Looking down, he stared at the faded blue of his comfort blanky, the fabric fraying in places, thread bare in others.

"You normally take it when you come out for a nightmare cigarette."

Hux's eyes found Sylva's eyes, found himself calming almost immediately.

She was in one of Hux's too big shirts, the hem rubbing the skin half way down her thighs. He could see the black of her pajama shorts underneath the white fabric.

He stood there in silence, staring at the thousands of stars reflected in her sapphire eyes, and the realisation hit him with a jolt.

This was his home.

Right here, on the balcony, stood next to the small woman that had been thrusted upon him with no warning - a translator from a neutral village who kept her head down to do her work.

Smiling weakly, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, making sure the blanky draped over her shoulder too.

Sylva's head rested gently on his shoulder and Hux was carefully with his next cigarette inhalation, making sure the smoke twisted away behind him, away from Sylva.

This was where he belonged; cuddled up to Sylva, surveying the land below them.

"You'll make a wondrous Empress one day."

Her pale cheeks flushed pink and she hid her face in Hux's shoulder.

The General smiled.

This was home.


End file.
